A story of hate

Ok, now I know most people probably think hate is a strong word, I too believe this...hate is disgusting and horrible, and yet something I have towards two people.
If you haven't worked it out by now, I'm a pretty messed up person....well, not so much now, its more a internal struggle with myself, I guess I project alot of self hatred towards myself...but this story of hate is not about me or even how much I hate myslef, this is so much deeper so much stronger....my hate for who we will call MW on here.
So yes, for the past 6 years I have lived in hate of this person, this goes so much further from dislike. Be warned before you read on i'm about to release alot of shit...but I just need to let it out, cos I'm just not dealing with things very well.
Ok, so lets go back about of say 8 years ago, I was one very messed up teen, to cut a long story short I got diagnosed with Bipolar depression and there wasn't very much that would make me happy, well in fact there was only one thing that made me happy and he we will be known as T.

Anyway, back to MW, we had met in a theatre group (oh...he could not act to save himself) and this is also where I had met T.
Now apart from T, everyone knew or had suspicion that I had fallen hard for T...T and I had started a friendship, we'd been I guess 'mates' for a lil while.....(from the minute I saw him, I was in love) ...and to have this developing friendship, well I finaly had a reason to wake up, I longed for his phone calls to hear his voice to see his smile...I was in love, but friendship was perfect (even though I wanted so much more)
Well, I remember the day so clearly, I had been in a happy mood, had been shopping with my best friend and had some photos developed, I was so happy that there was one of me and T, I had brought a photo frame of a sunflower and couldn't wait to get home to put the pic in the frame...I just just framed the photo when the phone rang...it was MW, how he got my number I dont know...he was just a guy I knew I dont think I would have even called him a friend...but he was on the phone with something 'very important' he had to tell me...so I listened and as each word rolled of his tounge every little bit of hope, of joy, of happiness was being stripped from me...'T hates you' he sais, 'he hates talking to you' 'he hates seeing you' 'he never wants to hear from you again' 'he never wants to see you again' bang bang bang, shot after shot straight to my heart, I could feel myself falling to the floor, I feel empty, I have nothing to say...I hang up the phone...smash, I throw the photo frame and at this moment I have no reason to live....now...I know there has been more than one person who has said that they wanted to kill themselves...fuck, to get to the point of thinking of doing it bad enough...but at that very minute after hearing those words, I HAD NO HESITATION...there was no second thought, I grabbed a pair of scissors and I was aiming for the wrist...all I can say is thank God for my best friend being there, as she was one step behind me and was wrestling with me on the floor to get the scissors out of my hand...she ended up punching me in the mouth, and held me down for about a hour before I had cried myself to sleep. If she hadn't been there, if she had left before I had got that phone call I would be dead now, I know that after that phone call in that moment, I had no second thought about ending my life.
T kept calling though (funny how he hated me but was calling) and again to cut the story slightly shorter (cos theres still alot to go) about 3 month later T and I were a official couple. I dared to face my fear...that he had once said that he hated me...I asked him, saying that it was in the past I just need to know....he swore black and blue, crossed his heart... everything, that he had never uttered those words....MW HAD LIED...now how the fuck those someone do that, make up a complete lie and call someone they bearly know to tell them that lie....because of his lie...I could have been dead.
Anyway much to my disgust MW is still around...I ocasionaly see him at like parties and stuff like that...and over the past 7 years I have made it very fucking clear...I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!!! There was not even a friendship to even salvage...but even if there was, I could not forgive him...how can you forgive someone who almost cost your life...especially when it was no accident....he deliberatly had made that call to tell me a lie, the lie was the only thing he had said in the phone call....I just want nothing to do with him. It makes me sick enough to see him....but you see once a fuck head always a fuck head...there are other stories of what he has done to others, but personaly he has done enough to me to make me HATE.
Anyway, so tonight...my boy (yes its still T (almost 6 years) ) had a gig....and MW was there, bad enough, but he kept trying to join group conversations I was in and just wouldn't keep his distance, after the gig, we headed to a house warming party...argggghhhh, he was there too...he was leaving and he just had to....'bye Laura' he says....for fuck sake! For the past & years I have told this guy to fuck off...and it had been about 3 years since I had last said it to him, but I was sooooo angry, I had to say it again 'FUCK OFF' but you you think dickhead gets the point...no he keeps going 'ha, thats the most I have gotten out of you in about 3 years' now i'm fuming now 'FUUCCCKKKKK OFFFF' I say it again, everyone at this party can hear this....'you have to get over the past' he says (i'm sorry, but I cant just forget that his actions nearly cost my life) 'FUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFF' now the last words that this bastard just said is to get over the past then do you want to know the next thing that comes out of his mouth 'I HOPE THAT CANCER STRIKES YOU LIKE LIGHTENING' I swear to God that MW IS SATAN....little does he know nor anyone else in that party bar my boy is that this Tuesday I am going to see the Doctor to get results on if I have cancer....and I'm already shitting myself, cos I had two lots of tests done and only one of the results had come through and I had a call from my the clinic or whatever the doctors office that the doctor wanted me to come in to 'discuss my results' the 2nd lot of results havent even come in yet....do you think that to be a good sign....I dont..........FUCK I HATE>>>HATE>>>>HAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEE MW!!!!!!!!! I cant deal with this shit.