the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Ok...so its time to face the real me, I often try to avoid this or loop into unreal worlds of disillusion. Its been about a year since I last actually weighed myself properly, well maybe last January was the last time.
It was probably like a year and a half ago that I actually became aware of the reality of my weight.
The funny thing was I was a skinny child, no, maybe I wouldn't call it skinny, I was fit and I was healthy (i've danced since I was 3) I had problems with my knee and sunk into a depression and gained a little but not a lot of weight. During 2000-2001 I gained a extreem amount of weight, in like a sort of 6 month period I gained like 25kgs (very scary) especailly when I ate quite healthy actually very healthy ...This spun my mind, I had no idea how with no diet change so much weight could come on.
Major surgery on my knee came in the beginning on 2001 and kept me non functional for 3 months and a year before I could almost walk properly again (more weight gain) So I went to the doctors...he gave me pills for the weight (needed a script) ...so $150 later i'm taking these pills, when I came back a month later no weight loss, not even half a kilo nothing...just more fat...I was going crazy, I didn't know what to do. Then came the pain, and I mean mass physical pain, when the pain came I couldn't even walk...pain killers put me to sleep and I would sleep the pain away...so, finally a hundred invasive tests later I get the so not so great news I HAVE PCOS...Yay! This disease (if you would call it that) is actually the reason I have gained the weight...so after the crying and the depaire, I decide I need help, I go see a dietician and for the first time since like 1999 I get weighed...now back in 1999 (about 16-17 years old ..i'm 22 now) I weighed like 54kgs.... in 2004 ...yes I know theres a big jump in time but at 17 your not too far from the height your going to be (hence the weight you should be) ...so back to 2004, I stepped on the scale and weighed in at 79.9kgs (SREAMS) I feel sick thinking back to it...so I dont go on a 'diet' this time, due to the disease there are food I just cant eat cos they just dont burn off, they store and become fat. I change my life style. The last time I saw the dietician way back in Feb-March of this year the lowest weight that I hit was 63.4kgs...so yes I have lost some weight, but I still aim to loose more. So, the main point to this rant is that I purchased a scale today (very scary) and then I stood on it (scarier) and now I know where I am at again...sooooooo....here it is people, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Sunday 18th Dec 2005, Laura weighs in at 65kgs . My aim...I want to go back to the 55kgs (for my height this is still a healthy place for me to be...I dont want to be bones) I want to go back before the gain and before the constant self hatred came in.
I want to re-gain me, I want to find me...I'm sick of the fat.
So, 10kgs can I do it...that is the question, I'm sure as hell gonna give it a try.